After mum got home
by LindaAndrewsfan
Summary: Basically what I think should have happened after series 3 episode 5 (Home alone) (rated for language)


**Ok so my name's Will as you have just seen, we trashed a garden, I kicked a door into my neighbors face making her nose bloody. There's a hard fucking man in my front garden, my mother is back and Jay is standing in my living room crying and due to the beauty of alcohol I'm hungover and don't really give a shit. Oh and Simon is complaining about golf. But on the bright side the ginger prick had dumped my mum because as I quote he couldn't be dealing with a problem child.**

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After paying the angry neighbor and apologizing for Will's behavior Polly entered her house looking very disappointed with Will. Neil and Simon took Jay into the kitchen while Polly had a word with Will.

"I have brought you up better than this", Polly said.

"I know", Will said guiltily.

"What do you have to say for yourself", Polly asked.

"I was drunk, sorry", Will replied.

"Drunk", Polly said.

"Yes mother I was fucking drunk", Will replied.

"Well you can go apologize to the man and Mrs Springett", Polly replied.

"Ok", Will replied.

Will sat on the sofa and Polly went into the kitchen to see if the boys wanted any lunch, she found Jay crying and sat him down. Will heard his mum talking to Jay and went into the kitchen and looked at Neil who was too busy staring at Polly to notice. Polly called Jay's dad just as Simon's phone rang again.

"Oh for fuck sake another missed call from my dad", Simon said.

"I think his really angry at you Si", Neil said.

Simon answered the phone and his dad did not seem to happy Jay locked himself in the bathroom as he was still crying over the death of Benji. Neil and Will looked at each other and then at Simon.

"Yes I'm sorry dad but a hard man tried to fucking kill us", Simon said.

"That is the truth", Simon continued.

"YOUR SO FUCKING ANNOYING", Simon shouted down the phone.

Simon cut the call and then looked at Will and Neil who were just looking at him. Simon sat down and looked annoyed. Will sat next to him and tried and can safely say failed to cheer him up.

"Don't worry Simon", Will said.

"Don't worry, don't worry my dad is going fucking mental at me", Simon replied.

"I'm sure he'll calm down", Will said.

"He bloody won't", Simon replied.

Will decided just to leave it and Mr Cartwright was at the door. Polly answered the door to find Mr Cartwright standing with a younger girl around the age of fourteen. Polly invited them both in and they took a seat in the living room.

"This is Mylie my daughter", Mr Cartwright said.

"Oh, nice to meet you Mylie", Polly said.

Jay came down with Simon, Will and Neil and both Mr Cartwright and Mylie burst into laughter. Jay stood there crying as Will, Neil and Simon looked at each other and then back at Mr Cartwright and Mylie.

"You're such a girl", Mr Cartwright said.

"Jay, it's a love interest just she ain't interested no more because your a big baby and your cock is too small", Mylie said.

"Dad I miss Benji", Jay said crying.

"Oh yeah, forgot he was your only friend", Mylie said.

Simon looked at Jay as Mr Cartwright took his son outside leaving Polly, Will, Neil, Simon and Mylie in the room. Jay was still crying and Mr Cartwright surprisingly hugged his son. Jay cried on his dad.

"Look son, things change all of the time and Benji he'd grown old and the best thing was to put him down, you've watched your sisters Anna and Mylie grow up into teenagers and then things stay the same like your cock", Mr Cartwright said.

Jay stopped crying and joined the boys in the living room and Mylie hugged him so he hugged her back. Alan and Pamela, Simon's parents also turned up and Polly let them in.

"Shit", Simon said.

"Don't worry Si, you can cry like a big baby when you get home", Jay said.

"No that was you just now, remember", Neil said.

"Dad", Mylie said.

"Yes", Mr Cartwright asked.

"If Jay ate a snickers would he grow some nuts", Mylie asked.

"No, his are too small to function", Mr Cartwright said.

Mr Cartwright and Mylie burst into laughter while Jay tried to ignore them. Alan and Pamela came into the living room with their son Andrew and Alan didn't look happy. Simon was shitting himself with worry. Alan looked at his son and Andrew had his eyes on Mylie. Alan walked over to Simon while Andrew sat next to Mylie. Simon looked at at his dad.

"Jay was crying", Simon said.

"Ok, don't tell everyone you bender", Jay said.

"And you just wanted to make sure your mate was ok", Alan asked.

"Yes", Simon said.

Alan smiled at his son as Mylie got up and looked out of the window and saw a yellow car parked on the drive way. Andrew got up and stood next to her and looked at Simon's little car.

"That is the shittiest car I've ever seen", Mylie said.

"It's my brothers", Andrew said.

"Simon your car is shit", Mylie said.

"Jay tell her", Simon said.

"Go on Mylie", Jay said encouraging her.

Neil's dad arrived to pick Neil up from Will's house, Polly let him in and Neil's dad waited for Neil to get his things together. Simon and Will walked over to Andrew who had sat on the chair and put his hands together and put them in between his legs.

"You ok", Simon asked.

"Yeah", Andrew replied.

"Hang on, you haven't actually got a stalk on", Simon asked.

"I think he has a boner", Will said.

"Andrew got a boner", Simon said.

"What how", Alan asked.

"Andrew", Pamela said.

"Mylie", Andrew replied.

"Ha ha my daughter gave your son a boner, that's one more boner Jay will ever have", Mr Cartwright said.

"Neil come on Katie is waiting, we are having some men come in", Neil's dad said.

"Your old man is definitely bent", Jay said.

"My dads not bent", Jay replied.

Neil's dad took Neil home and then Mr Cartwright decided to take Jay and Mylie home, Mylie gave Andrew a kiss before leaving making Andrew blush and Simon start laughing.

"Bye benders", Jay said.

Alan and Pamela and Andrew then left with Simon driving them home.

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**Ok so I have learnt that Jay cries over anything, Mr Cartwright is a prick, Andrew fancies Mylie and actually got a hard on, Neil's dad is defiantly gay, Simon gets scared over his parents and Gilbert wants to fuck my mum. **


End file.
